We too sad!!!
It be as deep as an ocean floor well maybe more.
It's hard to heal, hard to deal.
We sitting down here like we're dying living in hell.
Hard to breathe.
Hard to see.
Hard enough that it's verrrrry deep.
Hard enough that ya can't stop crying, dying inside we're wishing we were by his side.
It's still hard to survive.
Hard to celebrate Holiday's.
He was always on our side.
Now it's solo rides.
Too sad to see him not saying hello or see ya.
Now it's goodbye, See ya til ya die to join him in his ride!!!
I wrote this 12-17th-2016!!!
Was talking to a friend from Elementary School who also knew Kaleik!!!!
All 3 of us were always being idiots together in school!!!
I miss that and i miss him!!!!
R.I.P KALEIK!!!
Kaleik Anderson (10-18th-1989-10-1st-2014) =['
Every time i go on the internet everybody talking about their Best-Friend. It makes me sad!!!!
Everyone has a Best-Friend and mine Died October-1st-2014 https://www.facebook.com/kaleik.j.anderson
I wrote this on Kaleik birthday....October-18th-2016... I wanted to post it at that day but i just couldn't!!!
It's painful!!!
My eyes shot
My heart dropped
My soul gone
My mind stopped
My body in shock
I'm lost and i can't stop
Crying day an night, Wishing this was my last stop!
Everyday wishing it was my last day.
Wishing i was getting shot.
You be mad probably saying to stop and live your life.
How can i live my life when your gone!?!?!
How can i smile and not see your messages on my phone and my laptop.
Like i use to before you died.
I feel like my life is nothing but a lost soul.
I was waiting to hug you, Waiting to hangout witch'u but now i can't do that.
Now i'm only shedding tears now, Waiting for my last ride so i can be by your side instead of i'm constantly crying.
This pain is painful.
Wishing this was over.
Wishing your life wasn't over.
Wishing we could re-live the great days instead i been counting the days.
Damn man i wish you were here so i could stop shedding tears and wishing i was dead.
Right now i wish that we were hanginout bein funny like we did back then in school instead i'm sitting on my bed.
I Love You man.
Your more than a friend. Your my brother.
I wish you were here.
I miss you.
Life will NEVER BE THE SAME.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU MY BROTHER💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Forever i'll be stung. Forever i'll be numb
No one wont take the pain away.
It's here to stay until it's my day.
Your my brother.
Your like no other.
Wishing i was by you.
Wishing i could feel your hug.
But my eye is shot.
My heart still dropped
My soul still gone
My mind still stopped
My body still in shock
All i wanna feel is numb.
All i wanna be is stung.
Music and writing are the only drugs i got.
Some days it doesn't help my heart in pain.
I still in pain.
My life will never be the same.
I'm never the same.
I miss you Man.
I LOVE YOU MY BROTHER💕💕💕💕💕💕
REST..IN..PEACE KALEIK
See You til i die
Best Friends and FAMILY FOREVER💕💕💕💕💕💕
I LOVE YOU💓💕💖💗💝💞💓💕💖💗💝💞
July-3rd-2016
I did this for my Best Friend, Brother Kaleik Anderson who died because of how big his body was!!!
This is him: https://www.facebook.com/kaleik.j.anderson?fref=ts
This is a Poem/ Blog or whatever you call it!!!
I remember the day i met you. September-2000.
You said you got hit by a bus but i didn't believe it and told me to and i still didn't.
I told ya we be tight from this day on.
If it weren't for you i would have never known hopscotch and being my weird self.
We always had dance offs/ dance with each other being funny.
We ran around like we were the crazy kids.
Every time i had a problem you were there for me.
You wiped my tears away.
You talked to me more than anyone did.
We were King and Queen in Elementary school.
Everyone got jealous, You told me to forget them.
You told me not to meet your parents but i didn't listen, You got nervous but had a smile on your face than we danced again.
You told me to promise me to reach your goals up in PA.
You told me to never give up.
I remember the bus rides.
Too much fun times.
I remember the last week before we graduated Elementary that I was the greatest friend.
You layed on me every time, You hugged me when we needed it.
The day we graduated i moved and i couldn't stop crying that we'll never see one another!
Years later i found you on AOL IM.
We haven't stopped talking than texting.
Best days of our lives to reconnected someway.
We were happy like old times.
Years from 2009 when i reconnected, 2014 you told me in September to be at your birthday on October-18th but i didn't know where the party be and when.
You didn't answer back, I got worried.
2 years gone by. March-2016 before my birthday i heard from your Best Friend/ Your bro.
He told me you died.
Before then i watched his video.
I didn't believed it til he told me and his mother posting it on facebook.
It broke me.
I was eating like i wanted my life to be over.
I was depressed, Still waiting to my life to be over.
I'm still crying at night wishing this pain go away.
Looked at the medicine cabinet for this pain to go away, There's nothing to take.
Without talking to you, My heart aches.
My heart feels like it gonna shake and break.
Your my Best Friend, My Brother.
I Love You and i miss you.
Together forever.
No other, No one will rip us apart, We stick together.
We Best Friends foreva.
No soul mate, You my Brotha from anotha motha, My 2Pac.
I Love You Man.
Always and forever.
It still breaks my heart that nothing i can do til my life ends than i get to see you.
I MISS YOU!!!
xxxLove your Best Friend, Your Sister, Your Left Eye
July-2nd-2016
My heart is black, My soul is lost.
Music and Snoopy is the only thing holding me strong.
Can't handle people that can't accept me of who i am.
My heart is black, My soul is lost.
I'm lost and soulless.
My life a sailing ship sailing on sand in a world there's nothing but Grey and Black and no one around to say Hi, I LOVE YOU, Only a forever Goodbye.
I feel so alone.
All i want is someone to hug me and say I LOVE YOU and accept me as i am.
I want to feel that i'm home and not in a bedroom everyday all alone.
My heart is black, My soul is lost.
I wish all the loved ones i had weren't gone.
My heart is nothing but an empty hole!
I wish it was filled like my bedroom with all Cd's and Snoopy's but it's not.
It's sad and hurts alot.
Nothing i can do but keep wishing and try to keep my faith and hope strong.
My heart is black, My soul is lost.
My heart is nothing but an empty hole and my soul is nothing but an old rusty tube with a wind blowing in it making no sound.
I'm lost and alone!
I don't wanna feel lost and alone.
I will never be accepted and feel loved.
Am forever alone.
I'm lost and alone.
Even though my mom has been there for me, My dad and brothers and my friends really haven't well except 2 that died and that's Kaliek Anderson from Central Islip. Met him 2000 11 years old and Joe Bird from Pennsylvania. Met him 2004 when he was 14 and I was 15 years old!!!
My mom father and brother and my dad parents have been there for me!!!
I rarely knew my mom mother, Rarely knew my dad sister and i've never met my dad brother!!!
Everyone i know can't accept me cause i don't party and do drugs and too annoying and undisabled and a mad mind sometimes!!! Too sad!!!
Their as annoying and have a mad mind too sometimes!!!
I don't get it!!!
I don't get why life has to be this hard and sad for me!?!?!?!
Written - May/15th/2016
I'm sick of being used and ignored like a scary clown and a dirty carpet.
It's screwed up that i don't have anyone to hang around with like i did when i was in Long Island.
It's not fair that no one joins me having fun and starring at the starry sky, Instead all you going out choosing partying and other things like it's Prom Night!
It's alright!
I do me and you do you like it always has been ever since i moved in 2001.
what comes around goes around and it's all going to all of you online and in person that dragged me to hell of not accepting me of who i am!!!
I'm screwed up and smart and so are all of you but all of you don't care , So why should i too!!!
Like i said. I do me and all you do you!!!
I been trying to be nice and all you are nothing but Mr Scrooges!!!
Not my fault you all did stupid and lose!
You could've had me in your life but you all rather be Mr Scrooges and look like fools!
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda but ya just heartless stupid fools!!!
I know that it's short but i've been getting more than pissed off for the past years and it's not right that i've been dealing with this crap!!!
It's not fair at all!!!
My life is like a Softball Game! You miss or you hit, You get called out for a right play, You get yelled at sometimes for doing nothing wrong, You catch the balls but you don't feel that you got them out, You throw a pitch thinking it's a strike but it's a ball 3, You feel like you won but you don't feel like you did, You lose but you feel like you won!!
Did ya get me??
I mourn everyday, every night!
I lost almost everyone that loved me in my life.
I feel pain every day in my heart and soul.
How am I suppose to fight?
How am I suppose to rise?
How am I gonna stop mourning all the time?
That's all I know, that's all I say.
I don't know much of love.
All I know is more of mourn.
I rarely smile, I rarely speak.
Every time on the internet it's all mourning I type.
People are pissed, people are mad but they'll never listen and understand and understand what I'm going through.
Everyone shouldn't go what I go through.
That's why I mourn every day.
I'll mourn til I find more people to help me take the pain away.
Until then I'll keep mourning and not speak.
In my mind set it's fine dandy to do so.
So I'm mourning all night and all day.
I'll mourn til more people who will actually stay and help me get the pain away.
I'm not gonna stop til I know more of love than mourn.
I wanna love and not mourn.
You can hate me today and all my life, I don't wanna mourn , I wanna end this fight.
It's not right mourning every day, Almost the rest of my life.
That's why I wanna end it.
Too much pain not enough love.
Love is forever and eternity and mourn is ugliness darkness that needs to be gone.
I'm born to love, not to mourn.
Peace, Love, Hair & Grease!!!
My dad chose drugs and alcohol and constantly argue than watching me growing up.
Always got bullied in school, no matter what school I went to! Pre-school, Elementary, Middle and High School!!!
Even my dad bullied me, well sadly he still does!!! :(
My mom father, my grandpa died November-29th-1998 from I bet from his diabetes!!!
My dad sister, my aunt was in a car accident 1981 that left her paralyzed from the waist down and rarely couldn't use her hands. Anyways she died January-13th-2003 from I bet an overdose since she was always doing drugs non-stop being disabled and before being disabled!!
My dad aunt, my grandma sister, my great aunt passed away June-2006!!
My friend Joe Bird who I met in high school killed himself in June-2011
My dad mother, my grandma passed away February-20th-2012 from cancer!!! :'(
1 month later my mom brother, my uncle passed away March-15th-2012. I don't know how he passed away!!!
My dad aunt, my grandma other sister, my great aunt, great aunt Jean passed away April-23rd-2014. 2 days before my 25 th birthday. She passed away from Alzheimer's!!!
3 months later my dad father, my grandpa passed away. On July-29th-2014
Few months later my dad uncle, my grandma brother passed away!!! :(
All those years of deaths and being constantly bullied and me and my brothers and my mom on and off arguing and being a Learning Disabled and from moving away from my best friend Stephanie in July-2001 After my mom parents passed away!! :(
I can't take it anymore!!!
So now you know everything!!!
Remember when we were kids in sunny and stormy weather playing on the street, In the yard!?!?!
We were playing like there was no limits, No worries of the years passing by!!
Those were the days of no stress, No pain, No nothing but playing games and being goofy!!
It was the greatest of all time in the world!!
Remember we went crazy good and bad just in 1 day!?!?!
It was very intense and insane but it was real fine!!
I remember the days like it was yesterday!!
It's stuck in my head cold weather that's refusing to leave in Spring.
It was funny, Cool but bad and sad and everything, Anything you can think of!!
That's how those days of ours was!!
It's a memory not a Day Dream, Nightmare.
It's staying forever, Eternity!!!
A DAY TO REMEMBER!!
I wrote this days ago!!
When I saw pictures weeks ago of when I lived in Long Island, NY and my parents, Mostly my mom leaving the NY News on, I was thinking back in the days in the 1990s!!
I miss it!!
I miss everything!!
It's true!
I can remember everywhere I lived in Long Island, NY!!
The fun times were amazing!
I wish it was the 1990s, So I can do it all over again!! :)
Anyways I hope you liked it!!!
